Thursday, November 18, 2010

What Fiona Did To Get a Job.



A friend of mine recently graduated with a degree in public relations, minor in journalism. It was a pragmatic concentration balance on its face: one of these fields represented at least a modicum of investment toward gainful employment, the other did not. In a different time, my friend, we’ll call her Fiona, may have given herself over to the romantic notion of the well-traveled journalist, marrying her wanderlust and literary inclinations to a desire to do something in the interest of the public good. But she believed in realism and clear-eyed ambition. Cautious that the budgets to buoy any latent journalistic aspirations had gone the way of the dodo, she chose PR—a field that promised both a creative environment and corporate stability.

But despite her pragmatism, Fiona, like most graduates of ’09 and the surrounding years, found entering the workforce to be an uphill battle.

Even after mining her modest network and sending out numerous applications, job prospects remained anemic. She continued her old gig as a waitress for months after earning her degree, grinning at an endless churn of needy customers when not checking online career sites like a day-trader checks the Dow. Finally, she got a call about an internship. Though it paid modestly, and was only guaranteed to last a few months, Fiona began to think of the position as her dream job.

At first, the hiring process proceeded as normal; or at least in a way that any person hazarding first steps into the real world might have perceived to be normal: A resume here, a reference check there, followed by a first round of interviews. Fiona was nervous in the way that all post-collegiate twentysomethings are nervous—in seemingly a tick of the clock, she could suddenly feel the entire weight of her future balancing awkwardly on her shoulders. But she remained confident. An internship with a mid-level PR firm. Certainly it was nothing she couldn’t handle.

Then came the “Social Media Challenge.”

“Our industry is changing,” said the prospective employers explaining the twist. “Social media has become an essential front in stakeholder interaction. We need to see how skillful and creative you are with these tools.”

At first blush, the challenge sounded to Fiona, who quietly nursed a raging Facebook addiction like everyone else she knew, like fun: Log in to a special Facebook page and get as many people to “Like” you as possible. But it wasn’t merely a game.

Fiona was told that she was one of two remaining applicants being considered by the company. The “Social Media Challenge” would not be conducted in some isolated spare office space at her potential place of business, but as a public, week-long contest between her and her competitor for anyone, including and especially her friends and family, to see. If and when she won the challenge, it would increase her chances of getting hired.

It hasn’t always been this way. Somewhere in the history of recruiter/recruitee relations, between the advent of “The Apprentice” and the decline of the global financial industry, the rules of the game took a turn for the dramatic. Beyond simple supply-and-demand, securing a job today—even those of the less-than-glamorous variety—has become something akin to a tooth-and-nail fight to the death in the Roman Colosseum: a spectacle of personal desperation for audiences either real or imagined.

Fiona isn’t alone. You don’t have to look far for stories of some un-moneyed, highly-educated kid making an ass of himself to stand a chance. A friend who graduated in marketing went flying across the country for an interview, only to have it capriciously canceled before he even touched down. The stories’ subjects are unusual, but their dramas ring familiar—like the time Robin and Shannon faced elimination for not taking their clothes off; or when the band members had to walk to Brooklyn to get Diddy his favorite cheesecake.

It used to be that this kind of do-anything, fuck-anyone standard was reserved for society’s fringe dreamers who are by definition delusional, like musicians and models and actors. But with the level of unemployment teetering at the brim, and after a decade of television executives at Bravo, MTV and the networks milking every profession and aspirational desire for human drama, it’s no wonder that even white collar employers have begun to see their sudden wealth of applicants in a new light.

Anyone who’s ever been unintentionally unemployed knows that it doesn’t take long for the thorny spores of desperation to take root and self-propagate. Anything for an edge. Anything to stand out from the tired, poor, huddled masses willing to work for free. When others have no boundaries, one fears the need to take off their clothes or face elimination. It seems that many with jobs to offer have not only come to expect this behavior, but are comfortable enough to openly encourage it.

We’re told that the recession ended over a year ago. That unemployment is a lagging indicator. What we need now is a collective call for common decency: for job seekers to come up off their knees and unlearn the terrible demands of the downturn. Because a job is a privilege, but a post-graduate internship is not a dream. The longer HR departments and midlevel executives get to play Diddy and Trump, the longer we’re all screwed.

Fiona lost the Social Media Challenge. This was doubly offensive considering the social capital she had expended transforming herself into the kind of person who brazenly self-promotes on Facebook. But her talent had not gone unnoticed, and the firm decided to hire her for the internship anyway. Three blissfully employed months passed. Then, when the internship had run its course, Fiona was told that the company could not afford to offer her a job. In her exit interview, she complained about the hiring process, which she said reflected poorly on the firm. They bought her a chocolate good-bye cake.
Get the gist?

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Suddenly, It's all relative.

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like.You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you're doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. Or even, you both love each other but it's just not right. You want to settle down for good because now all of a sudden that becomes top priority.

Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You begin to think a companion for life is better than a hundred in the shack and for once you would not mind standing tall for that special someone which otherwise you had never thought of until now. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that every one reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

- Taken

Monday, July 12, 2010

Offbeat Tales Of A Crazy Traveler

I had always been a little bit of a nature freak, so like thousands of others, I braved the journey to the famed Colorado. I had absolutely no expectation from this place whatsoever because I believe that having expectations ruins the experience in itself. However, I knew one thing and that was to capture every moment in my head and pen it down to make those memories immortal.

I paid attention to every feeling, every sight, every experience with great detail. I wanted to remember it all. When I started writing this post, I wanted it to be perfect. So I carefully wrote everything I did each day, each minute – my bank account crisis at the airport, getting lost in a city called Limon, taking a ride with a strange old lady to Denver, my hatred for the Colorado public transport system, rafting across the Arkansas rapids in the middle of the snow capped Rocky mountains, the 1250 ft free falling in Royal Gorge, the bicycling across downtown Denver, watching people play chess on the 16th street mall, rappelling down the turtle rock mountain, enjoying the ear-blasting jazz music at Wild Bangkok, the view from Pikes Peak etc. I tried capturing everything.

But despite all my efforts, I couldn’t write this. Whatever I would wouldn’t seem enough, it wouldn’t seem perfect. I wrote pages after pages but I would erase it as soon as I wrote them. What was I going to say about this place that hasn't already been said before? Hence last night, I tore up my article and started writing again.

Only in three days I felt a strange love for this city. It felt like it was my own. But what was the reason for me to feel this way? – The snow capped Rockies, the liveliness of the place, the Arkansas River or my sudden independence? What has this city given to me? Actually the real reason was in my heart for quite some time now; it’s just that my head couldn’t understand it.

It was my oldest and newest friends that made the trip so beautiful in every way possible. To think about it, would the trip be as much fun without - Dina’s classic pictures? Loudly singing to Venga Boys played by D.J Shazaam a.k.a Pandu on the journey to Buena Vista? Keith’s amazing hotel prank on his cow-pal Cheryl? Saumil’s expressions when he fell into the boat while rafting? Teasing Madho and Melo about New Jersey? Me breaking Cheryl’s $ 20 sunglasses AND bag? Eating the horrible horrible Indian food with everyone that closely tasted like rubber? Cheryl’s amazing $2 coupons?

Wouldn’t the trip be less fun if they all hadn’t come? When I first started writing this post I thought that the reason my trip was so amazing was because of the great outdoors of Colorado but now I know that it is actually because of these friends who came from all parts of the country to meet one another.

Sometimes we are so blinded by the larger than life outer perspectives that we fail to see the smaller inner reasonings. Running towards our destination, we leave behind so many things that truly define who we are; which is why I feel that even if for a little while, take time out from your busy schedule and look for that special feeling that makes your surroundings, your life even more beautiful… who knows you might also find friends for life just like me.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

A Blog To All Blobs.

Long long ago there was a time in my life when if someone told me "Dude, I'm in shape" then I would say "Yes you're right, round is a shape". This was when I was training 5 hours a day to one day become a national level swimmer. Pffft!

Although both my parents are big structured and my grandfather closely resembling a small car, I was happy that I was blessed to get my grandmother's genes. I was tall and lanky. I was ruthlessly cracking weight jokes around my overweight relatives not once realizing that one dreadful day I would be on other side of the grass.

Recently, my mother was looking at some of my latest pictures on Facebook and she said " Aditi, you look like a cow". The minute she said it, she laughed so hard that it felt like she was finally able to take revenge by removing 21 years of weight frustration that I had slowly built inside of her , brick by brick, by my subtle yet awesome jokes!


So I decided that before I transform from a cow to a buffalo, I would take charge and go on a diet. Needing to shed a few pounds, I googled all possible diet tips and tricks until I finally found one that I liked. I put a bet with my-same-body-type-friend (anonymously named Tubey), that each of us had to lose 10 pounds by September 1st, else we would pay each other $150. Money motivates people greater, mind you. I also put a skimpy poster of Gisele Bundchen
as my wall paper , so that everyday I would open my laptop to think " Someday I am going to look like you bitch"

With diligence and zeal, I closely followed all the recipes for each meal of the day even though it was enlarging the already present hole in my wallet. I was gymming or playing tennis everyday.

My motto: Dieting is a weigh of life.
  • It's not the minutes spent at the table that put on weight, it's the seconds.
  • The biggest drawbacks to fasting for seven days is that it makes one weak.
  • The toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat but watching what other people eat.
  • An excellent way to lose weight is by skipping.... snacks and desserts.
There would be times of the day where I would be so hungry that I could eat the plate, then I found out such an edible plate does exist. Chen Liang-erh, 50, an amateur inventor living in Taipei, Taiwan has perfected an edible plate. It is made from wheat grain, and he plans to mass-produce it with other edible crockery including cups, bowls and food containers. He argues that hungry diners, tempted to lick a plate after a delicious meal, can now go a step further and demolish the whole lot. Sadly, I have learned, the plates have the taste of unsalted popcorn - not exactly an exciting culinary delight. In his favor, Chen says the crockery can be boiled and will provide a nutritious meal for your pet.

As time progressed, I started feeling terrific until one skinny ass of a friend (anonymously named Cherry) burst my bubble and said "Damn, you put on more weight!". At that instance all I felt like doing was stuffing his face with 100 tons of cheese so that he would never have the audacity to say such a thing again!

After that, I was like screw this diet, screw Cherry! I started getting all philosophical and pondering upon the deeper questions to weight loss. Then I figured that the dumb head who had conjured up the rules on weight measurement that has millions of people depressed and even suicidal, had got it all wrong! The most accurate way of measuring weight is to actually lay down on the floor , with your back flat on the ground and have your legs raised up high and placing the weighing machine on your feet. VoilĂ ! you instantly lose 130 pounds.

Isn't this just awesome! Now I only weigh 10 pounds. Life seems so much more beautiful with chocolates and ice creams in the world again.

So apart from making truck loads of money with this revolutionary discovery, I hope to save the life of my friend Tubey who is in a relationship with big mouthed Cherry.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

College Living.



As I am about to graduate from college, I would like to pass on a few words of wisdom to all those who are about to know what life is all about.

In India, my whole lifestyle was very very different from the one I had here. My parents are all about good grades. Their life revolves around it. So, I was the kind who thought that nothing was hard to get as long as I got good grades, which I did and so I got everything I ever needed and much more without so much as a sigh! And then one day I decided to come to America to "study" further. That was the day I went from being a princess to a poor girl on the streets.

As expected, I had thought that the good grades philosophy would hold true anywhere. Come on, its only natural! I was spending away my earnings to a point where I would have one dollar in my account at the end of the month. Seeing this, my parents decided that their daughter had to "build some character".

So they kept me on tight budget lines every month. I was then forced to put on my thinking cap and find ways through which I could overcome this mess. I was not allowed to spend my own hard earned money, what do you expect! I tried and tested several money saving methods to overcome this hiccup in my otherwise awesome life. Today however, I am not writing about the things that worked but I am going to talk about the things that did not work.
  • Do not create a secret bank account. If you were the obedient kid who gave all your passwords to your parents in the beginning, then my friend you are doomed! And once you realize the shit you are in , don't make it worse and create another unknown account where you could save up some money for your personal use. Although it will give you the feeling that you are one of those millionaires that who keep all their illegal money in an offshore account in the Caribbean, it is bound to fail. Parents always have ways of finding out, ALWAYS! The universal truth is parents are 100 times smarter than you, the faster you understand this the less trouble you will be in.

  • Do not take secret vacations with friends. Whats even worse than a secret bank account is going away with friends on a holiday with your saved money without telling parents. Nothing gets them more riled up than you travelling with FRIENDS, especially if you are the only daughter. Its a time bomb waiting to explode and all you can do is say "Oh Boy" !

  • Stop buying so many shoes. You know who you are. You can only wear one pair at time, unless you wear them on your hands, too. How many shoes do you need, anyway? ( remember, I am putting this point under the things that did not work for me)

  • Stay behind times. Wait until books come out in paperback (half price books) and until movies come out on the internet. Don't buy the latest electronic gizmos; see if you can mooch gently used cameras and not-all-that lightweight laptops from your friends and relatives when they upgrade to the latest models. Don't bother changing your hair or clothing styles until people giggle and point to you whenever you leave the house.

  • Stop thinking about your maid in India. If you were the kind who never made your bed in your "previous" life wait until you come to live in America. Stop thinking about your maid back home when you are scrubbing the bathroom floor or cleaning the kitchen or doing laundry or are starving and feeling lazy to cook. It only makes life harder! Face the fact you cannot afford to hire a maid here.

  • Don't buy a cheap cell phone plan. As the saying goes, when you are not allowed to do something, thats the one thing you will want to do the most. Buying a plan that gives you very less minutes and absolutely no texting is like going on a diet when you live next to the chocolate store. No amount of not picking up calls, not charging your phone etc will help you save minutes. It just won't work! In fact, you will just exceed your minutes and pay a lot more than the normal plan that you didn't buy to save money.

  • Water down your shampoo. I must say that Pert Plus not only lasts longer but works better when it's watered down a bit. I don't know the scientific principle underlying this discovery, but using this tip can save you literally hundreds of cents a year.

  • Don't buy groceries until you are eating pickles for lunch and dinner. Use all the ready made food that you brought from home. Don't go to the grocery store until you've absolutely run out of everything, thats how it happens at my apartment anyway. To be honest, I doubt you can save any money this way, but what the heck I thought I'd just mention it.

  • Listen to tapes. Once upon a time, in the age of boomboxes and Walkmen, tapes were the hottest selling music format around. Now that they've been kicked to the curb, first by CDs and then by digital downloads, no one seems to want them anymore — which means you can find perfectly fine tapes for fifty cents or a dollar at any decent thrift store. If you've still got a working tape deck, let your analog freak flag fly. Sure, you can't easily skip tracks but hey, who needs to skip tracks when you are listening to the greatest hits by Simon & Garfunkel.

  • Don't get gym subscriptions. Lets face it, Indians, in general, no matter how they try tend to put on weight when they come to America. Guys put on weight in the face and girls put on weight everywhere else. I know its necessary to keep your market value up high, therefore go running on the streets and lift boulders/bricks to build muscles.

  • Don't get tattoos. They're expensive going on, and even more expensive coming off. If you want to impress that rocker chick at the bar, draw something on your arm with a Sharpie before you introduce yourself to her. It doesn't matter if it looks convincing. She's not going to be interested in you anyway.

  • Never leave the house. Doing stuff outside the house tends to cost money, so avoid the outside world whenever possible.
Although doing none of these saved me any actual money, there is however one tip that might just work, get an old fashioned loving boyfriend with a good job.




Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Riding The Bus

I often question what exactly it is that helps guide people through their darkest days, not only to survive but to move past those circumstances and to ultimately attain the level of success and fulfillment that would have once sounded impossible, what comes to my mind is not the big moments that you usually tend to remember but instead the small life defining moments that get you by even if just for a minute.

Today, as I walked into what seemed like my never-ending-stream-of-no-job-getting-interview, I saw a guy. He was clean-shaven, maybe mid thirties, dark haired, of average height and slight build, he was wearing the sharpest suit possibly custom-made, out of a beautiful piece of cloth. It's more than just a garment, it's the whole look - the tasteful tie, the muted shirt, the pocket square, the understated cuff links and watch. Nothing obnoxious, just well put together. No flash, no bullshit . Just sharp. He reminded me of a Ferrari circling in slow motion, with the whirring sound of that unbelievably powerful engine as it idles, waiting and purring like a lion about to pounce. Seeing him pass me by just gave me a sense of feeling that maybe just maybe someday I will be there too. This encounter is crystallized in my memory - almost into a mythological moment that I could return to and visit in the present tense whenever I wanted or needed its message.

These recent times have been hard and difficult for me with possibly everything going wrong. Life seemed to have taken a 360 degree turn with my clock ticking in the opposite direction. From what seemed to be like living in an everlasting sunshine, I suddenly felt I was helplessly caught in a never ending period of gray foggy skies with continuous days of bone-chilling rain. It was like I was falling and falling heads down into the bottomless pit of failure.

Then I remembered a brave man telling me last night, "Whaaat is life without a few failures, look at me". I pondered upon it and realized that there is joy even in failure. It pushes you to be stronger and work harder to crawl out of that pit leading to a strange sense of satisfaction. It makes you appreciate success ten folds greater that you otherwise would. It lights a fire inside you - to dream, to succeed. I started drawing inspiration from everything. I looked for ways to find "happy"ness and humor. And then I finally began seeing roses in the ghetto.

So to conclude, everyone has big things happening to them but what you need the most is to have that one person in your life who will create that one small moment that turns your life around.