Random Thoughts

Random Thoughts
I recently came across a nice little story that made me think about the deeper meanings of life. The story is about a little wave , bobbing along in the ocean, having a grand old time. Enjoying the wind and the fresh air until he notices other waves in front of him crashing against the shore. The little wave panics at the thought of his future. Then along comes another wave. It sees the little wave, looking grim, and it says to him, "Why do you look so sad?" The little wave says, " You don't understand! We are all going to crash! All of us are going to be nothing ! Isn't this terrible?" The other waves says, " No, you don't understand .You're not a wave ,you're a part of the ocean". "Part of the ocean, he says, "part of the ocean".

As I was complaining about the confusion of my age, what is expected out of me versus what I want for myself I realized the 'tension of opposites' theory . Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing, but you are bound to do something else. Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn't. You take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted. A tension of opposites is like a pull on rubber band. And most of us live somewhere in the middle. Sounds like a wrestling match ,doesn't it? But the question is which side wins?

Many people haven't found the meaning in their lives, so they are running all the time looking for it. They think of the next car, the next house, the next job. Then they find that those things are empty too and they keep running . They seem half-asleep, even when they're chasing things they think are important. This is because they are chasing the wrong things. We put our values in the wrong things hence leading very disillusioned lives.The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning by making complete use of the resources around you. To ultimately achieve the purpose of your life you must accept who you are and revel in it.

Here are a few things that came to my mind while finding my purpose of life . .

Death:
Everyone knows they are going to die but the problem is nobody believes it. If they did , things would have been done differently. Hence we kid ourselves about it. A better approach would be to be prepared for death anytime. That way you can actually be more involved in your life while you're living it.

The truth is if you really listen to that bird on your shoulder and accept that you can die at any time then you might not be as ambitious as you are. The things you spend so much time on, all the work you do, might not seem as important. You might have to make room for some more spiritual things.

I don't know what 'spiritual development' really means. But I do know we are deficient in some way. We are too involved in materialistic things, and they don't satisfy us, we take these things for granted. Along with acceptance of death comes appreciation for the smallest of things.It's natural to die. The fact that we make such a big deal out of it is because we don't see ourselves as part of nature. We think because we're human we're something above nature. One thing we must always remember is that death ends life not relationships.It's more negative that you're going to die , it's also positive that you understand you are going to die, and that you live a better thought because of it.

Family:
The fact is, there is no foundation, no secure ground, upon which people may stand today if it isn't the family. If you don't have the support and love and caring and concern that you get from a family, you don't have much at all. Love is so supremely important. As the poet Auden said, " Love each other or perish". Without love we are birds with broken wings. Just knowing that your family will be there watching out for you can give you a sense of satisfaction neither fame nor money can give. I always wonder that if I were on the verge of death and I had no family , no friends , no associates, would the emptiness be unbearable?

Emotions:
One always experiences good emotions and bad emotions. We must learn to deal with it. Love is almost felt by every human being on this planet for something or the other. Its the only rational act.
Detachment doesn't mean you don't let the experience penetrate you . On the contrary you let it penetrate you fully. That's how you are able to leave it. You mustn't cling on to things because everything is impermanent.
Hardships in life makes you go through emotions such as fear, horror, anxiety. But once you recognize the feel of the emotions, their texture, their moisture, the shiver down your back, the quick flash of heat that crosses your brain then you are able to let these emotions inside you, pull it on like a familiar shirt and are able to say to yourself, " All right, it's just fear. I don't have to let it control me. I see it for what it is".
Same for loneliness: you let go, let the tears flow, feel it completely but eventually be able to say," All right, that was my moment with loneliness. I am not afraid of being lonely, but now I am going to put the loneliness aside and know that there are other emotions in this world, and I'm going to experience them as well."
Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them too , even when you are in the dark. Even when you're falling.
When you most need it neither money nor power will give you the emotion or feeling you are looking for no matter how much of them you have.

Culture:
Every society has its problems. The way to solve it is to work at creating your own culture. The biggest defect human beings have is shortsightedness. We don't see what we could be. We should be looking at our potential, stretching ourselves into everything we can become. The problem is we don't believe we are as much alike as we are. Whites and Blacks, Catholics and protestants, Hindus and Muslims, Men and Women. If we saw each other as more alike, we might be very eager to join in one big human family in this world, and to care about that family the way we care about our own. Racism and all other related evils wouldn't exist. From one angle we all have the same beginning , birth and the same ending">death . So how different can we be?
The culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn't work, don't buy it.The culture doesn't encourage you to think about such things until you're about to die. We're so wrapped up with egoistical things, career,family,having enough money etc -- we're involved in trillions of little acts just to keep going. So we don't get into the habit of standing back and looking at our lives and saying , Is this all? Is this all I want? Is something missing? You need someone to probe you in that direction. It won't just happen automatically. This is where the role of a teacher or a mentor comes in because a teacher affects eternity;one can never tell where his influence stops.

Forgiveness:
"Forgive yourself first, then forgive others". Its not just others we need to forgive , we also need to forgive ourselves for all things we didn't do. All the things we should have done. You can't get stuck on regrets of what should have happened.

There is no point in keeping vengeance or stubbornness. Pride and vanity must be shed in order to forgive.We need to make peace with ourself and everyone around us in order to be happy.

There still seemed to be no clear answers to any thoughts . Do you take care of others or take care of your "inner child"? Return to traditional values or reject hundreds of years of tradition as useless? Seek success or seek simplicity? Just Say No or Just Do It?Am I doing all I need to do? Am I being the person I need to be?

I am a different self now though. I am different in my attitudes. I am different in capturing the simplicity beyond life's complexities. I crave to be in the warmth of unembarrassed love which I have never wanted before. I'm different in terms of trying to cope with the big questions, the ultimate questions, the ones that wont go away. Once you get your fingers at the important questions , you cant turn away from them.